The rule is you both do it at the same time!

The Marriage Rule:  You both may not have a bad day on the same day.  This is cause for fireworks.  Someone may end up walking or sleeping in the other room.
We have found that it is not safe for us to both be grumpy or depressed on the same day.  It is much easier if you decide if either of you are going down that road, then the other one has to be the stand up person .  If you are the standup person that day you have to just be the listener, the one that consoles the other.  Don't take it personal, just sit back and think " when I am in that mood what do I want that person do"  ?  (And no I don't F off and die) lol ..So saying that I have a lot of self talks.....(when I am the standup person.)  If you just listen, and try to be extra nice it  goes away quicker.   ( and tools don't get thrown :) lol

Now just a word to the adventurous couples out there that may like to start or are thinking of starting a project or adventure together.... Take the worse possible scenario that could possibly happen in every area, personal, business, health, finances, friends, family, weather and think -Would we be happier if we just take the money and save our sanity and fly to a beach, mountains, where ever your dream could take you.  Or if it is a project- save the fights, costs, stress and hire someone else to do it and sit with your feet up on the deck...We have been asking ourselves for a few weeks... hmmmm we could have been on cruises or ? whatever stress free for a long time with the finances that this project/ dream has set us back. We have asked ourselves WHY do we do this kind of thing?  Buy things that we have to put a lot of work into to get it to the way we want.  We could have bought a nice new shiny boat for what we put into this one.  (But it wouldn't be as strong).
I think it says something about the personality of bullheaded, stubborn people.
Today I thought about this a lot.  Instead of having someone seal and paint the interior, which to them would probably be a easy job.  I decided, how hard can that be, its small it shouldn't take long.   So after doing some research - I was told that to prep the wood work is about 5 steps to put on a coat of polyurethane and between each coat you repeat the 5 steps, and in most cases you could or should do about 12 coats????  SO I Said " @*&* that I'll do 2 maybe 3 coats and that's as good as it gets!  I think this is another project within the project that I am going to be sorry I started.
Meanwhile, because I can only do my prep work when everyone else is not in my space.  I was the tool runner, take out old screws, try to get into spaces that children cant even hide in.  And because of the small spaces that you have to work it a 10 min job works out to a 1 hour job with lots of cuts, bruises, and a whole new vocabulary that the neighbors are learning.
Anyway that is my brain fart for the day.  Tomorrow is another day.
Living and Learning....:)